I can see when you stay low nothing
happens. Does it feel right? Late at night, things I thought I put behind
me haunt my mind. I just know there's no escape now once it sets its eyes
on you, but I won't run; have to stare it in the eye.Stand my ground, I won't give in. No more denying; I got to face it. Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside. If I don't make it, someone else will stand my ground
Chapters
Friday, October 28, 2005f o u r By the time they got to Ryou's apartment, she was starting to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. True, she needed tutoring in order to pass English for the year, but this was mou hitori no Bakura she was going to face on the other side of the door. No amount of daily weirdness or false bravado could compensate for the fact that this particular dark side made her want to run to her father like she had as a little girl.
"Jyonouchi-kun? Are you okay?" Ryou asked, turning to her with a puzzled frown. "You look a little pale."
Katsuya shook her head and flashed a smile that she hoped was reassuring. "Yeah, I'm fine, Bakura. Just... well...."
"Yami makes you nervous," the boy concluded for her. Katsuya simply nodded in response. "I think the only people she's not pleased with right now are Atem-san and Yuugi-kun, and that's because they were, to put it mildly, rude. I know I appreciated you calling to warn us, Jyonouchi-kun."
"Thanks, Bakura," she said, taking a deep breath and shifting her bag slightly. "Sorry for, uh, hanging up like I did, by the way. I was asleep on my feet."
"That's okay. You didn't really sound like yourself," Ryou said, not noticing when the blonde tensed for a fraction of a second as he turned to unlock the door. "I think we all needed more rest than what we got, though. You missed school yesterday. Are you sure you're okay, Jyonouchi-kun?"
"Yeah, never better." She certainly hoped that Ryou didn't notice how false her smile was; she must have fooled him because he smiled back, looking a bit relieved at her answer. She drew in another calming breath as he opened the door, bracing herself for whatever was going to come.
They had been in the apartment for a grand total of ten seconds--long enough to take off their shoes--when a familiar-yet-not voice spoke up from the vicinity of the couch: "I thought that tutoring thing was on Thursday, yadonushi. This is Tuesday."
Katsuya glanced up and was somewhat surprised. For some reason (likely everything that she'd seen in the Memory World) she had been expecting mou hitori no Bakura to be very tall and very tan. And while the faint scar, darker hair and paler eyes were present, the woman wasn't much taller or darker-skinned than Ryou; if Katsuya had to guess, she'd say that she and the other Bakura were the same height. It was a little difficult to tell, though, since the silver-haired woman was wearing what appeared to be steel-toed boots.
Ryou was speaking before Katsuya had time to fully gather her thoughts. "It usually is, yami. But Jyonouchi-kun had..." he paused for a moment, probably to silently ask Bakura to not press the issue too much "something come up later in the week, so we're studying tonight."
"And I suppose this is going to be a repeat of the midget and the Pharaoh's visit?" the older woman sneered, shooting Katsuya a hateful look. The blonde bristled slightly, but decided not to rise to the bait. While in the past she'd looked at both men and women with equal amounts of appreciation, since the end of Battle City she hadn't really looked; at most, she merely asked herself is she prettier than me? and if he sees me looking, will he hurt me?
Just a glance at Bakura was enough to answer the first question in her mind: yes, she is.
"If you mean the threat about cutting off his balls, then no," Katsuya finally replied, crossing to the couch and jumping over the back to land soundly on the cushions. "I am here for one reason only: I'm failing English, and I want to graduate before I'm twenty. So, Bakura, what page did we leave off on last time?"
Both the Bakuras looked surprised by her lack of staring. They exchanged a look, and Katsuya thought they might be talking to one another but couldn't be certain. She flipped her book open and settled back, unconsciously curling one leg under her as she tended to do when attempting to relax. If Honda had been there, he would have smacked her on said leg to remind her that she wasn't at home and couldn't let her guard down; as it was, she was fortunate enough that at least one of the Bakuras wasn't paying that much attention to her actions.
"Um... page five-twenty-seven, I think," Ryou finally said as Bakura retreated into the kitchen (but not before giving Katsuya an appraising look). "That's the section on travel phrases."
Katsuya snorted inelegantly. "Like I'm leaving Japan anymore than I already have. The whole Grand Prix thing was a waste of time, and if Rebecca is an example of a typical American, then I'm keeping my feet firmly on native soil, thank you very much." She wasn't even going to mention Egypt; that was yet another thing she would have to work through, but she wasn't sure if any amount of therapy would help her get past that feeling of helpless fear she experienced the minute she heard anyone speaking with a non-native accent.
Ryou was frowning at her again. "Jyonouchi-kun, you never know," he replied. "You could get a job that requires you to travel outside the country. And America isn't the only English-speaking nation in the world. There's Britain."
"Yeah, a company's gonna hire someone who's fifteen minutes of fame consists of being the number two duelist in the world and placing fourth in Battle City." She nearly choked on her words at the last part, but managed to get them out without too much difficulty. She felt her heartbeat speeding up and took several deep breaths to calm down again. Mentioning Battle City wasn't her best idea, considering the circumstances of the final few duels. Especially everything that had happened right before the finals....
"I'm kinda hungry," she said abruptly, dropping her book on the table and moving to stand. "Mind if I raid your fridge?"
"Preemptive strike, Blondie. Sit your ass back down," Bakura announced as she came back out of the kitchen, marching over to the coffee table and setting down a couple plates. "You're both too fucking skinny. Eat. I need to go wrestle the spoon out of the coffee."
Katsuya blinked. Surely she'd heard that last little bit wrong. "Uh, you do realize that coffee's a liquid,"she said. It wasn't quite a question, but it was close. Bakura gave the blonde a look before heading back into the kitchen. She returned a few seconds later with a mug that had a spoon sticking straight up out of it; actually, she was carrying it by said spoon.
"This," she asked incredulously, "is something you're supposed to drink?!"
Katsuya was, quite literally, speechless. Yes, she'd been aware that Ryou lived on his own (save for his yami, that is). She knew that her father still had the occasional kitchen disaster, which was why as soon as she was old enough to learn their neighbour had started teaching her how to cook on a budget. However, she had never seen someone manage to mess up coffee... until now.
Not even trying to speak, she took the cup from Bakura and marched into the kitchen as if it were the one in her own apartment. Once there, she set the cup down carefully and checked the coffee maker. Katsuya simply shook her head as she realized that the thick liquid in the resevoir was some sort of creamer.
"Bakura," she said evenly, "how long have you been making coffee?"
Ryou leaned over her shoulder, attempting to see what Katsuya was looking at. "For a while now. But the coffee maker's sluggish lately."
"That's because you're supposed to use water to brew it," she said, resisting the urge to beat her head on the cupboards. "You add the creamer afterward." She shook her head and set about taking the coffee maker apart; it was going to have to be completely cleaned before it would work properly again. Glancing to her left, she saw Bakura watching her avidly. "What?"
"Just learning," the former spirit said, flashing a smile that most would recognize as Ryou's most innocent. Katsuya wasn't sure she should believe that look and went back to what she was doing. Once she'd dumped all the washable components into the sink (she had the feeling Ryou was going to have to buy a new carafe, though) she turned her attention to the cupboards.
"The hell?" she grumbled as she pulled out a can of peaches with a faded, peeling label. "These are from 1945! Were they here when you moved in or something?!"
"I heard that canned foods can keep for decades," the boy said in his defense; he really didn't want to tell her that a lot of the stuff up there had been in the cupboards when he moved in, and he'd never really gotten around to cleaning them out.
"Do you wanna eat them?" Katsuya smirked as her friend shook his head and tossed the can into the garbage bin. She rummaged around for another few minutes, tossing out anything that was well past the expiration date and setting aside what was still good before realizing that the female Bakura was staring at her again.
"Help you with something, Bakura?" the blonde asked, quirking one eyebrow.
"Yeah," Bakura said. "Where do you hide your tits under the jacket?"
Ryou dropped the carafe in the sink, ensuring that he would have no alternative but to buy a new one as it shattered. Katsuya was staring wide-eyed at the older woman, who was smirking back as if daring her to deny it... and obviously waiting for an answer.
"Yami, Jyonouchi-kun--"
"Sports bra." Both Bakuras were staring at her now, the female curiously as she had no idea what Katsuya was talking about and the male because he thought his friend was making some sort of a joke.
"A what?" Bakura asked, tilting her head to one side questioningly.
Katsuya didn't even pause to think about what she was doing; the moment the words were out of Bakura's mouth she slipped off her jacket and pulled her t-shirt over her head, tossing both on the counter behind her. "This," she said. Ryou stared for a moment before his face reddened and he clamped one hand over his eyes.
"Jyonouchi-kun?!"
Bakura seemed impressed by the garment. "Damn, why the hell couldn't we have had those back in my day?" she pouted.
"Because it makes life easier for some of us," Katsuya replied. "By the by, you should probably buy a few bras anyway. That's probably why Yuugi and mou hitori no Yuugi were staring at you. Breasts are fascinating to teenage boys, after all."
"And not a few teenage girls, hm?" Bakura asked with a smirk. The blonde simply shrugged and turned back to the cupboard.
"Jyonouchi-kun, please put your shirt back on!" Ryou whined. His yami snickered quietly and Katsuya rolled her eyes. Somehow she knew this wasn't going to be good.
"What's the matter, yadonushi-dear? Bra blocking your view?"
"Yami!"
Updated 3:23 PM
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t h r e e Katsuya chewed on her pencil nervously and shot a glare at the clock. She was ready for the day to be over so she could go home and try to figure a few things out.
Her session with Yuki-san the previous evening had gone well, even if she'd only given vague details about the attack. Yuki-san had reassured her that many victims felt the way she did, and that talking about it was part of the healing process. The therapist had suggested that she talk with a woman she trusted, someone older who could help her through the hard times they both knew Katsuya was facing, and scheduled her an appointment for the following Thursday, which was less than a week away.
This left Katsuya was three problems: she didn't have any older friends she could mention this to (especially not Mai, who had her hands full as it was dealing with Jean-Claude Magnum again), her tutoring sessions with Ryou were on Thursdays, and Yuki-san's new office was located in the Kaiba Corp building. The latter she would just have to deal with when (not if; she wasn't going to lie to herself about that) Kaiba realized they had the same therapist; she was willing to bet he would be at least a little concerned. He was just as young as she was, but had far more troubling him than the average teenager. Finding out that a friend was seeing a therapist who specialized in traumatized youth would come as a shock to the elder Kaiba brother.
That still left her with two unresolved issues. And she had no clue what she was going to do about it.
She nearly jumped out of her chair when the bell rang, she'd been so lost in her thoughts. Katsuya shoved the books she needed for her homework into her bag and turned to see just what Yuugi was saying to Anzu.
"--might be a good idea to give them time to adjust," the boy was saying when she tuned into the conversation. "I know mou hito--Atemu-kun wants to duel against Kaiba-kun today, but I'm not sure Bakura-san is too keen on leaving the apartment yet."
"I can't say I blame her," Anzu replied. "She's been sharing a body with Bakura-kun for so long that she'll need time to get comfortable in her own skin again."
Katsuya blinked. She half-thought she'd dreamed that whole conversation with Yuugi. Mou hitori no Bakura scared the hell out of her quite frankly, but at least she'd known her standing in the former spirit's eyes. Maybe just being around the woman would give her a clue of just how to approach her therapy sessions....
"Hey, guys, did Bakura leave already?" she asked, subconsciously dropping her voice down a few octaves as always.
Anzu nodded. "Just a few minutes ago," she said. "You can probably still catch up to him. Why?"
"Had something come up for Thursday and I wanna see if we can switch study days," Katsuya replied with a shrug. "I'll call you when I get done if he doesn't mind tutoring me today instead."
"Okay, see you later, Jyonouchi-kun," Yuugi said. He knew Katsuya's grades in English were slowly improving, but that the tutoring sessions were the main reason for the improved grades. He honestly wanted his friend to do well, and keeping Katsuya from studying wasn't the way to ensure that his best friend would graduate with the rest of the group.
Unaware of these thoughts, Katsuya waved over her shoulder and ran to the shoe lockers. Quickly slipping on her sneakers, she dashed out the door just in time to see Ryou starting through the gate.
"Bakura! Wait up!" she called; when he stopped and turned, she slowed to a jog and flashed him a slight smile. "Sorry, but I need a huge favour."
"What is it, Jyonouchi-kun?" Ryou asked, a concerned look in his eyes.
"Do you think we can change my English session to this evening?" Katsuya asked. She faltered for a moment before adding, "I have an appointment with my therapist on Thursday so I can't make our usual time."
The concern seemed to increase. "Therapist?" he asked. "It's not because of Zork, is it?"
I wish, Katsuya thought even as she shook her head. "Nah, I have some issues to work through that I thought were resolved. So, can we?"
"Sure," Ryou replied, his expression shifting to a soft smile. "Um, yami will be there, you know. And--"
"Yuugi already blabbed; mou hitori no Bakura's a woman, I know," she said. "And even if she's scary, I'm failing English, so I'll behave and maybe she won't shove a knife in my throat." She almost said between my breasts but caught herself in time; it was easier to act tough if everyone continued to assume she was male. That was yet another issue she had to get through; telling her friends that she was and always had been a girl. The only one who knew this was Honda, but he'd always treated her like one of the guys, and she was still enough of a tomboy to not give a damn about appearance and fashion.
And Ryou was staring at her. "Yami won't do that," he said seriously. Katsuya almost wanted to laugh; wasn't it supposed to be the darker half that was overprotective? It was actually kind of sweet, and she found herself grinning at the boy.
"Okay," she said. "I trust you, Bakura. Let's go."
Updated 6:38 PM
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t w o Twelve hours later, Katsuya was still a bit jetlagged but feeling a little more human. Even with the occasional memory flash to drag her out of a sound sleep, she'd gotten about six or seven hours of rest; maybe by noon she'd be fully functional again.
At the moment, though, her bladder was screaming to be emptied, so she dragged herself to the bathroom. She absently noted the phone ringing but opted to ignore it; her father could get it or, if he was sleeping too, whoever it was could call back when she was awake. She was on her way back to her room when her father called to her.
"Katsuya?" She leaned on the wall as she looked at him, eyes half-lidded. "Is your friend Bakura's sister in town?"
Katsuya blinked slowly. "She goes to the same school as Shizuka, so no, unless she's skipping. Why?"
"Your friend Yuugi just called and said something about going over to Bakura's and seeing boobs." He said it so calmly that for a second she thought he was joking.
"Fuck. Where's the phone?" she asked, pushing off the wall and crossing to the end table. Her father didn't even try to scold her for swearing, just handing her the handset and making sure his daughter wasn't going to fall over while she talked.
The phone rang four times before she heard a click. "Huh?" Apparently Ryou was still dealing with jetlag too.
"It's Jyonouchi," she said, not even trying to disguise her voice, she was so tired. "Yuugi said he's coming over there to see boobs."
"What?!"
She didn't know Ryou could squeak like that. "Yeah, he called here and told my dad that," Katsuya confirmed. "I'm asleep so I'm not going with. Hell, I'm going back to bed now." With that said she dropped the phone and started walking down the hall once more; behind her she could hear her father talking but all her attention was focused on getting back to bed. Actually, the wall would work just as well, so she leaned against it and let her eyes fall shut again.
The next thing she remembered clearly was sitting bolt upright in bed, panting hard and fighting back tears. Even with the sun guarding her sleep, she wasn't safe from the memory of what had happened to her in Battle City. A glance at her alarm clock showed that it was close to five in the afternoon; her father would definitely be at work by now, but she really didn't want to be alone, not after that nightmare.
Hell, maybe she should go back to therapy; it had helped somewhat during the divorce, and this was worse than the turmoil she'd gone through when her parents were fighting for custody. And Yuki-san had said she could call her anytime, even if the last time they'd talked was around the time her mother (or The Bitch as Katsuya called the woman who'd given birth to her) and Shizuka left Domino.
Decision made, she slipped out of bed and went to check the phonebook for Yuki-san's listing. She found it in the kitchen, along with a note to call Yuugi. Katsuya frowned. She really did need to talk to someone, but Yuugi was still convinced that she was male.
"First thing's first," she said to herself, flipping open the phonebook. After calling the new number and getting a late (seven-thirty that evening) appointment, Katsuya dialed her best friend's number. He must have been right beside the phone, since he answered it on the first ring.
He didn't even say hello: "Jyonouchi-kun! Bakura's a chick!"
Okay, did the stewardess on the plane give Yuugi coffee or was he taking some kind of medication? "Um, what?"
And the boy was babbling. "Well, mou hitori no boku came back, and he said mou hitori no Bakura was too, and that she's a woman, and we went over, and she's got a better rack than Mai, but she wouldn't let me see them and threatened to cut my balls off, and mou hitori no Bakura's a hot chick!"
"Yuugi, have you been eating green tea pocky again?" she asked; the boy always acted strange when he'd been eating that stuff. "And slow down, man. I can't make sense of anything you just said. It sounded like you said mou hitori no Bakura's a woman."
"She is!" came the (loud) reply, and in the background she could make out Yuugi's mother telling him not to yell into the phone. "Mou hitori no boku and I went over and saw her! She's hot, Jyonouchi-kun. You really should have come with us."
"Yeah, well, some of us suffer from jetlag," she replied, mentally adding, and PMS, and the two combined aren't pretty.
"I'm sorry." At least now Yuugi was speaking in a normal tone of voice. "How are you feeling now, Jyonouchi-kun?"
"More human," Katsuya admitted. "I'd come over and hang out for a while, but I've got a couple things to take care of this evening."
"Oh, that's okay, Jyonouchi-kun. I don't want to get you in trouble with your father."
...okay, she really had to kill Honda for starting the rumour that her father was an abusive alcoholic. That boy always got her dad and her uncle mixed up, and it didn't help matters that the men were twins. Add the fact that neither of them liked Honda that much and you had a recipe for trouble. It still annoyed her, though.
"Thanks," she said rather than attempting to set the record straight; she didn't have that much time right now. "I'll see you in school" - she glanced at the calendar and finally realized that she'd slept the whole day away - "tomorrow."
"Okay. Bye, Jyonouchi-kun!"
"Later, Yuugi." She hung up the phone and checked the time. She was going to have to hurry if she was going to make her appointment on time, especially since she needed to shower and dress.
And who knows? she mused as she headed back to her room to grab some clean clothes. Maybe if I get the desert off me I can get him out of my mind for a while.
Updated 4:08 PM
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o n e All she really wanted to do right now was sleep for a week, but a few hours of uninterrupted rest would suffice. Her father was at work, the neighbour across the hall was playing Chopin and she'd unplugged the phone immediately upon walking through the door.
Now if only she could get him out of her head, this sleep thing would all come together. Thankfully no one knew everything that had happened all those months ago during Battle City, and she thought she'd worked through the pain and humiliation... until she arrived in Egypt and saw him again.
"God damn it," she grumbled, kicking off her blankets and wandering back out to the living room. Maybe some hot chocolate would help; her father had always made it for her when she was younger and couldn't get to sleep, and right now she needed something innocent to get her mind off that feeling of uselessness she experienced every time her thoughts drifted back to that day.
She'd just finished melting the chocolate when she heard the door open and close once more. Before she had time to call out a greeting, her father walked into the kitchen, stopping the moment he saw her. "Hey," he said, reaching over to smooth her hair. "When'd you get back to town, sweetheart?"
She smiled; her father always made her feel precious, priceless and loved. "About three hours ago. Then I had to do the female bonding thing with The Bitch before leaving the airport. I was trying to sleep, but...."
"No joy?" Her father ushered her to a chair then finished making her hot chocolate. "Here you go, baby. Then I want you in your room. I'll field any calls from your friends, and I'm calling you out of school tomorrow too. You need your rest."
She couldn't help herself. "Thank you, Daddy."
"Anything for my girl." He leaned down, lightly kissed her forehead. "Drink up, Katsuya, then go to bed."
Updated 3:32 PM
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Info
Stand My Ground is a story set in Eternal SailorM's Jillian universe; for better clarity it's advised to read both works in conjunction. Yuugiou and all characters appearing herein are © Takahashi Kazuki.Affiliates
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